Child Sleeping Position: The Field Sobriety Test

So it’s been a while since my last “Child Sleeping Position” post, and after last night’s not so “Silent night” (get it a “Christmas reference” I am SO in the holiday spirit) it’s time for my fourth “Child Sleeping Position” post.  For you that are new to the blog go to my old post “Child Sleeping Position:  The upside-down Pirate” for the background info on this post series.  In short, I have noticed all these wonderful positions my children assume when they are sleeping in the “Big Bed” so without further ado….I present to you… Last night’s”The Field Sobriety Test”….

So it started out like any field sobriety test you have seen on TV… arms straight out, then touching his nose… Only my child who likes the challenge decided to also touch my nose, then his nose…The whole time eyes closed sound asleep. 

He then flipped sideways and “walked the straight line” only my spine was the line instead of a line on the pavement. 

He then finished off this wonderful session with loud “sleep babble” which sounded like him reciting the ABC’s backwards (later realized that he was yelling “MY PILLOW” since he wanted the Pillow to himself.)

POSITIVE TO THIS POSITION….

Since it’s the holiday season, Daddy has some special “Holiday Juice” in the refrigerator (I call it Holiday Juice,,, you call it Mai Tai’s … TOW-May-Tow, TAh-MA-Toe) At least since he passed his test in his sleep I know he didn’t get into “Daddy’s Juice.”

The true meaning of Christmas “Operation Neighborhood Light War”

I have always been a Halloween man…Never really understood the hype of Christmas, but really liked a holiday where you dress up, scare people, and get free candy from strangers.  But when you have kids, different holidays have a little more meaning.

This year with the boys being two…Christmas is a big deal.  They love lights, Santa, and Frosty (at least I am pretty sure they like frosty since in less than 3 weeks we have watched the cartoon about 500 times.)

Me being the “think ahead” instinctive man that I am, I knew that this would happen, so I waited until after Christmas last year to get a bunch of Christmas lights on sale.

Since I didn’t have outside decorations growing up, and have never cared, I thought the 200 ft of  lights I got for like 25 dollars and a light up snowman  I got last year would be enough… boy was I wrong.

My false since of “awesome” decorations was also helped by the fact that I had the day before Thanksgiving off so that is when I decorated, that evening when I looked upon the splendor of festiveness I called my house, I was truly in awe (since no one else had anything up)

I have conquered Christmas on my first attempt… it was a lot easier than I thought… Until later that weekend when I looked outside and saw….

Wow…blinking lights, dangling lights, chasing lights OH MY!!!

MAN THINKING…”In less than 48hours, I officially ruined Christmas for my family…or did I…it’s still November…It’s the weekend, Time to go shopping”

My original idea of buying a few decorations after Christmas every year went out the window…For I would be the “King of Christmas” THIS year.

Trying to still save money I decided to go to “Price busters” yes I only spent 20 dollars, but all I got is two solar light Santa heads that you can’t tell when the light comes on…. And a 4 foot solar Santa that doesn’t even work even though I changed the batteries twice.

Having failed again…I was going to let it go…until one night (since we currently live in Hawaii the window is open almost all the time to let the cool breeze flow through the house) I heard the neighbors walking outside and the husband said to his wife “we need more lights.”

AAAAAAHHH HAAA!!!!  It was a competition, I wasn’t Paranoid, they feel threatened by my  “Yuletide” (Am I saying that right…I’m new at this Christmas spirit stuff)  I can still be king…so the next day…

So after going to three different stores, and spending more than 5 times my original budget last year my house was ready for the competition…

I DID IT!!! Waited a few days…no activity from the neighbor…One week into December…I won.

But what did I win…NOTHING.

On my way home from work last week I drove the long way around the block… and I saw a house seven houses away,,, so extravagant that not only could you see it from space… It has several different “Scenes” playing out in separate areas in there yard, then the next house over has snow in the yard for their mechanical deer’s to stand on “SNOW!!!!! THIS IS HAWAII AND HE HAS SNOW!!!!!”  Another house had a Santa train on the roof, another had 3 inflatable’s…and so on and so on.

Now it’s the week before Christmas I am probably the 8^th best house on the block.  Me being in the “Christmas spirit” I figured I can’t win this year but I am half tempted to leave my mark.  Since my Christmas is now ruined…I want to write a message to the neighbor kids in lights.

After all of this…I can’t wait until next year…it is so ON!!!!

Merry Christmas.

Can’t I just photoshop my kids memories

So I know what you are thinking, you went months without a post, post once, then wait a few weeks. 

Let me start by saying I am sorry (I know the “Man” code tells me never to apologize but I will make the exception just for you…my few readers.)

I was on vacation… Unlike most people I write my best posts when I have no time to write them down.  So usually the best way for me to do a post is write it during my lunch break at work, and draw it at the end of the work day. So as you can tell…vacation is over.

So I took the family to the new Disney hotel here in Hawaii.  It was INCREDIBLE.  Incredibly fun, Incredibly relaxing, and INCREDIBLY EXPENSIVE. (Note…a lot cheaper for me since they give a 25% off military discount but only if you reserve over the phone and ask for it.)

While on vacation I took a lot of pictures, 1. To show them to family and friends since we always live far away from them…and 2. For memories.

This made me think (for you women out there that always wanted to know what it’s like in a MAN’s head…here is a taste) …we need all of these photos since the boys are too young to remember… all they will have from this trip is the pictures….if this is true….why can’t I just photoshop some “memories” and save some money?

The simple answer why not….because I am a man and I don’t know when “enough is enough.”

If I did it once…

Then I would have to show them that I wasn’t just a cool dad that day, so I would have to be cool for their birthday too…

And to make sure they had “MAN-LY” memories…

So I came to the conclusion, that unless I want my boys to be the “special” kids growing up that not only swear that they were there when “President Captain America” was sworn into office and have a picture to prove it…I should probably just “Man” up…and pay for their memories like everyone else.