Whenever you have children you have to plan on “Fun trips to the Doctor.” I think the scientific mathematical equation is for every child you have, take the number of trips you usually take and multiply that by 27 (don’t ask me why 27, I did not make the equation)
So as the hectic work week is finishing up on an equally hectic Friday, I get a text message from my wife saying that one of the boys needs to see the doctor. Luckily since it’s hard for me to break from work, the Military Hospital offers “Evening Care” at night. So I finish up work, drive home, change, and drive to the hospital. I got there about half an hour early and they still took us right away, so far a wonderful experience…. Then I go with a “Butter Bar” Lieutenant that looks like he just graduated basic training and probably also just graduated high school, to get vitals checked.
First the weight, well the scale for some reason was not set to pounds, and he couldn’t figure out how to change it so he asked me “Ummmm…How many pounds is 11K?”
If that wasn’t bad enough, he then tried to take the temperature of an almost two year old with an oral thermometer. After a very funny unsuccessful attempt he told me his temp was fine (It was averaging 102 the past 3 days) and then he had the nerve to ask…
Luckily another nurse saw this and properly took his temperature (no not the way you are thinking you SICKO…she took it in his armpit) and we found out that it was in fact not fine…but 102. I hoped this nurse would stay but atlas she had to leave and it was back to the incompetent hands of Lieutenant Doogie Howser…
This might not seem like a stupid question at first, but when you think about it...my son isn't even two and is just starting to use two word answers, so for him to tell me his pain level let alone be able to reason what it would be is totally out of question. After this fun question and answer period,,, HE….(remember he is not a doctor, he is just getting vitals) told me that he is almost 100% sure it is foot and mouth disease. Remember he hasn’t run any real tests, and just moments ago asked me if he was faking, but now I am supposed to trust him… Luckily the REAL doctor showed up. After a REAL examination, this doctor (who was one of the better doctors I have ever seen.) Tells me the REAL diagnosis, but instead of giving it to me straight, she tries out her new stand up routine.
Obviously she thought she was funny, and so did my son who laughed when she started laughing. Grrrr. After she wrote down the prescription, she said the one thing that will make her my children’s favorite doctor (unfortunately she is not their regular doctor.)
I had to double check, and yes she WAS being serious. With all that said, the weekend was o.k. and I am back to work on a Monday so unfortunately no Ice Cream for me :(
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